Every negotiator wants the same thing: getting exactly what we want every time we sit down at the table.Read More >
If you’ve ever seen practically any movie that involves police officers, you’re familiar with the good cop/bad cop negotiation strategy. During an interrogation, one cop is super nice and the other is a complete jerk.
Though this strategy might lend itself nicely to the silver screen, it’s not something you should ever rely on in the world of high-stakes negotiation. Here’s why:Read More >
At Black Swan, we teach our clients all sorts of tactics they can employ to achieve better outcomes in their personal and professional lives.
For the purposes of this article, we’re going to flip the script a bit and talk about tactics to avoid. Here are three common negotiating tactics that make it that much harder for you to get the results you want:
- Cutting your price
- Emulating the lizards
- Not finding out
Let’s explore each of them so you can learn what to do to avoid stacking the odds against yourself.Read More >
When you’re in the middle of a negotiation and the other side’s head is filled with negative thoughts and ideas, there’s a black hole vortex in their thinking. They can’t think clearly, and in many cases, they might not even be able to hear what you’re saying at all because their internal monologue is hogging the microphone.
The good news is that you can stifle these negative thoughts and make sure your counterpart is more receptive to your message by using a technique we created called the Accusation Audit™.Read More >
This blog was originally published on 5/14/2018 and updated on 8/13/2020.
Most people who think they are good listeners underperform—by as much as 60 percent, in fact, according to some research. It turns out that overconfidence actually impedes their success.
Being too confident actually prevents you from truly understanding the motivation of the other side, which prevents you from being able to use Tactical Empathy™ to get the outcomes you’re going for.Read More >
This blog was originally published on 4/17/2017 and updated on 8/6/2020.
A few years ago, I was the only hostage negotiator in a room full of SWAT guys.
The quarterly meeting was for SWAT guys, by SWAT guys, and I was an interloper in hostile territory.
Why was I there? To request a piece of their pie.
The SWAT group had a training operations cache of about $78,000. Because they hadn’t spent any of the money over several years, I wanted to know whether I could grab $9,000 each year to train negotiators.
I used two communication skills—a Cold Read and an Accusation Audit™—to walk out of the room with what I wanted.Read More >
This blog was originally published on 6/12/2017 and updated on 7/30/2020.
When you use empathy in the business world the way we learned to use it as FBI hostage negotiators, you get revenue.
Is revenue boring?
In the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It™, we call this kind of empathy Tactical Empathy™. Very simply, Tactical Empathy is the process of knowingly and intentionally influencing your counterpart’s emotions to make deals. It’s how you give your family a better life.Read More >
Most of us want to get better at negotiation. And when we think of where to start after reading Never Split the Difference, the obvious choice for the first technique to try to get comfortable with is mirroring. “Repeat the last few words they say back to them.” Easy enough. Right?
However, it is not until we learn and practice the labeling technique that we are truly hooked. By attaching an identifying label to our counterpart’s words, it shows them that we are attempting to gain an understanding of the position they are in.Read More >
At The Black Swan Group, we teach a number of tactics that people like you can use to get better outcomes in your personal and professional lives. In our experience, our clients get the most bang for their buck when they use several of our tactics in concert with one another.
To me, conversations between people are like stews. When you’re making a stew, you’re not going to use too much salt or too many carrots or too much meat. You’re going to parse out the ingredients, using just enough of each, because the stew is the cumulative taste of a perfect balance of all of them.Read More >