As you know by now, a negotiation is an information gathering process. It is a bad move to try and start a negotiation by attempting to get the other side to understand you. Just like Stephen Covey says "seek to understand before being understood."
The key to any negotiation is getting the other side talking. That’s one of the purposes of small talk. To establish rapport. To get the conversation going. To get them talking about the things they’d love to trust you with, but are hesitant to. To get them to spill the beans.
Individual “signals” can be faked. “Signals” are choices of words, changes in tone of voice, body language changes (“flinches”) or things often referred to as “tells” . So, you’re really looking to triangulate signals.
There comes a time in almost every negotiation where we may get a counterpart that is trying to influence our decisions by making an ultimatum type offer (take X or this bad thing is going to happen to you). Sometimes it may be something they say out of desperation, other times they were going to hit you with it one way or another. At the end of the day, everyone we meet in a negotiation has a...
Here's the top 2 reasons not to go first in a negotiation. And they both leave money on the table.
"Maybe" I remember hearing a few years ago a businessman saying he started moving his business forward much more successfully when he started treating every “maybe” as if it were a “no”.
Is “Yes” really always “yes”? “No” is protection. “Yes” is commitment. “No” instantly makes people feel safe while “Yes” makes them worry about what they’ve committed themselves to. Nearly every “Yes” at best is a conditional “yes” and often is a counterfeit “yes”.
The #1 Sin - The Lust for “Yes” Lust. One of the 7 deadly sins of life and the first Deadly Sin of Negotiation. It’s a powerful poison for a reason. Lust is the dangerous alchemy of love and fear combined. You love, yearn, crave something and at the same time you fear losing it so much you close your ears, eyes, and mind to everything that threatens it.
A “take it or leave it offer” signals a great deal of insecurity on the part of the other side. If they weren’t afraid to negotiate, they would. They’re either afraid they might give in too much, or they’re under some external pressure that’s got them spooked. This gives you leverage.
Yes is a very tricky concept, especially when put it into the negotiation context. First of all, there are 3 types of “yes” – Confirmation, Commitment & Counterfeit – (the 3 ways to “C” yes) as it were. Now while we do not ever advocate aiming for a “yes” or trying to force agreement through “yes”, there will be times when you have to deal with it. Here are the two major ways to handle “yes”.