However you get into an interaction, whether you have had ample time to prepare or you have been thrown into the fires of Mount Doom, it is always good to have basic guidelines to abide by. Here are three we tend to lean on because of their influence on human nature reaction.Read More >
A “like” is an expression of value appreciation or desire that the Black Swan Group refers to as a positive. A “dislike” is a lack of appreciation, aversion or reluctance, to or for something. It is what we refer to as a negative. The positive or negative emotion that the counterpart attaches to a term or a dynamic is a clue as to the valuation they have put on it. The recognition, articulation, and exchange of values are what negotiation is all about.Read More >
Do try this at home.
FBI Empathy = Revenue
Is revenue boring?
FBI empathy is the same as what we refer to as “tactical empathy” in our book “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.”
What is it? It’s knowingly and intentionally influencing your counterpart’s emotions to make deals. It’s how you give your family a better life.
What's the best way to handle being attacked in a negotiation?
Call it reverse psychology. Call it a Jedi Mind Trick. Call it Emotional Intelligence on steroids. We call it Tactical Empathy. And it’s the stealth weapon of effective negotiation.
It’s counter-intuitive. It takes guts. It takes grit. And it works.
Eric Barker wrote in his blog “Barking Up The Wrong Tree” that gratitude is the tactical nuke of emotions. That when you bring yourself to feel it, gratitude does a remarkable job of wiping the negative emotions away. That’s totally true and one of the key reasons top success performers like Tony Robbins teach people to focus on gratitude.Read More >
We all like to think that we have a certain amount of logic, some more than others, especially when it comes to making decisions that have a serious impact on our future – like in negotiation for example.
It is probably fair to say that when we as people make decisions it is heavily based on value, especially in business. We are constantly talking about “how we can find value” or “how we can create value” or “what can we do that makes us more valuable”. All these different uses of the word value confuse me, every time it is mentioned there is a different definition. If what I value is logical and what you value is logical, then how come they are different?Read More >
Empathy is commonly defined as being very close to sympathy in many cases. Merriam-Webster defines empathy as the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions. Empathy as it applies to negotiation is neither one, and going into a situation where you are trying to influence the other side using empathy with this characterization will only hinder progress. The linguistics professionals can describe empathy however they see fit. But they are not negotiators, they’re simply people filling books with words and have no feel for application.Read More >