Google “Leadership Emotional Intelligence” and marvel at the number of hits on books, articles, and blog posts that have been produced. Not a week goes by without a new offering espousing the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and interpersonal communication for business leaders.
The secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. If knowledge is power, what you really want to gain is knowledge in the interaction without really giving much information away. Here’s how to flip the control dynamic on it’s head and enjoy the process.
Before you go into any negotiation you probably address some form of the below: Time spent planning Purpose of interaction How do we move the negotiations forward? Now ask yourself, how much of that is self-centered?
The Accusations Audit. (And the crazy thing is women are killing it with this!) Across the board, our clients are hitting the biggest home-runs by leading with this strategy. From divorce negotiations, to astounding deals with insurance companies that even ambulance chasers wouldn’t take, to multi-million-dollar government contracts.
As I reflected on my time as commander of my former agency’s Hostage Negotiations Team, I realized that eight of the 15 negotiators was a woman. It was not necessarily by design. It was just the way it shook out. They competed for the spots and outperformed other candidates; male and female.
If they’re talking to you, you have leverage. Who has the leverage in a kidnapping? As crazy as it sounds, it’s the people negotiating on behalf of the victim. After all, where else are the kidnappers going to go to get a ransom. Can you apply this to your negotiations?
If you knew what the people on the opposite side of the table thought you’d surely get everything you wanted. Unfortunately, you don’t have a crystal ball or a time machine and haven’t fully developed your psychic abilities just yet. Hence the reason for a communication process and varying amounts of preparation based on circumstance and of course time.
Bosses reward people they trust and who are effective. And when in doubt? They lean towards those they trust. Here’s how to achieve both.
The Incident Commander (IC) is brand new. He has spent the last three years as a sergeant in the Property and Evidence section. He was promoted to sergeant four years prior and spent one year running a squad before being transferred to Property and Evidence. Two months ago he competed for and was ultimately promoted to lieutenant.
Having an individual or a team of people ask you questions is an easily foreseeable part of negotiation. Knowing that negotiation is an information gathering endeavor, you need to be prepared to make sure you take every opportunity to make yourself smarter. Sometimes these moments are when questions are asked of you. They are trying to piece together the puzzle for themselves which is why they...