When responding to any counter-proposal, you need to make sure you don’t let yourself get sucked into the sequential move game. In a sequential move game with “evenly” matched players, as a second mover, you can only tie or lose. Are you interested in a more complicated game of tick tack toe?

    Most people who think they are good listeners underperform. There is some research that suggests they do so by as much as 60%.  This overconfidence impedes their success as it prevents them from truly understanding the motivation of the other side.Nothing puts a relationship in jeopardy faster than poor listening. Husband, wife, son, daughter, boss or subordinate, people do not take long to...

This is also the #1 way to deal with everyone who wants to suck up your time on the phone, from colleagues to cold-calling sales-people with “Have you got a few minutes to talk?”

When someone asks you “How much?”, what’s the worst thing you can do? Answer with a price. The traditional wisdom is “He (or she) who names a price first loses.” The academics will advise you the opposite! They say seize the initiative and set the price range with an anchor!

  Google “Leadership Emotional Intelligence” and marvel at the number of hits on books, articles, and blog posts that have been produced. Not a week goes by without a new offering espousing the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and interpersonal communication for business leaders. 

The secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control.  If knowledge is power, what you really want to gain is knowledge in the interaction without really giving much information away.  Here’s how to flip the control dynamic on it’s head and enjoy the process. 

Before you go into any negotiation you probably address some form of the below: Time spent planning Purpose of interaction How do we move the negotiations forward?   Now ask yourself, how much of that is self-centered?

The Accusations Audit. (And the crazy thing is women are killing it with this!)  Across the board, our clients are hitting the biggest home-runs by leading with this strategy. From divorce negotiations, to astounding deals with insurance companies that even ambulance chasers wouldn’t take, to multi-million-dollar government contracts.

As I reflected on my time as commander of my former agency’s Hostage Negotiations Team, I realized that eight of the 15 negotiators was a woman. It was not necessarily by design. It was just the way it shook out. They competed for the spots and outperformed other candidates; male and female.

If they’re talking to you, you have leverage. Who has the leverage in a kidnapping? As crazy as it sounds, it’s the people negotiating on behalf of the victim. After all, where else are the kidnappers going to go to get a ransom. Can you apply this to your negotiations?