Blog: The Negotiation Edge

To many, leadership failure looks like a toxic boss scolding their employees and causing a mass exodus.

But true leadership failure comes in other forms.

For example, when organizations don’t understand the value of empathy.

Leaders have the power to make or break a company.

In the world of hostage negotiation, it’s critical to be cognizant of the action imperative—pressure from our superiors to resolve an issue and get results quickly.

Are you satisfied with where you are right now? Are you confident that you’re not leaving money on the table? Are you certain that you’re not damaging long-term relationships?

No matter the context or the stakes, every effective negotiation strategy relies on these five factors. Are you effectively using all five?

Our work and personal lives are filled with negotiations. Some are small negotiations, such as what movie to watch or who should be responsible for washing the dishes. Other negotiations are high-stakes, like major business deals or funding procurement. While losing your movie choice isn’t likely to have a lasting impact, negotiating key business deals can directly affect your organizational viability, growth potential, and job security. Believe it or not, both types of negotiations involve the same basic skills. Practicing those skills is the key to becoming more effective when it matters most. No matter what type of negotiation you’re facing, these five tried and true techniques will improve your likelihood of success.

In a negotiation, having leverage means that you hold a perceived advantage that could give you the upper hand in achieving the agreement you desire.

Getting past the gatekeeper, the screener, the blocker or whatever term you give them has been a challenge...forever. Their job is to insulate and vet for the decision-maker. In hostage-takings involving multiple actors, it is not uncommon for the negotiator to be speaking with someone other than the guy in charge. Whether it’s a hostage or another bad guy, someone within the crisis site will be assigned to talk, similar to the gatekeepers in the business world. Whether it’s an assistant, a real estate agent, buyer or purchaser, often you will have to talk to people who do not carry the authority to make the decision to which you want a response before you get to the person who makes the final decisions. How do you get past them? Keeping in mind these considerations will help.

Emotion labeling was developed as a part of the Active Listening Skillset in the area of psychotherapy in the 1950’s. It is defined as the tentative attachment of an observation to the emotions implied by a person’s words, actions, or demeanor. Adopted for use in law enforcement in the mid-1980s, it is one of the most powerful tools in a hostage negotiators toolbox. 

Most people who think they are good listeners underperform. There is some research that suggests they do so by as much as 60%. This overconfidence impedes their success as it prevents them from truly understanding the motivation of the other side. Nothing puts a relationship in jeopardy faster than poor listening. Husband, wife, son, daughter, boss or subordinate, people do not take long to estimate your commitment to listening, especially when 93% of communication is wrapped up in physical syntax and delivery. Given this percentage, it is not easy to convince someone else that you are listening if in fact you are not. So why do most underperform? Because most don't have the communication skills to recognize that there are five levels to listening.