Blog: The Negotiation Edge

There are generally three ways to think about leverage in negotiations:

Our company used to say, “Yes is nothing without how.” But after years of negotiations, we’ve realized that this isn’t completely accurate. In reality, yes means nothing. How is everything.

After receiving an offer, you may be asking yourself, “How do I know I got everything that I could have gotten?”

If you’re looking to sustain a competitive advantage, make a habit out of reading. Devoting yourself to just one chapter a night will keep negotiating tactics top of mind and turn you into a natural.

As a professional negotiator, I’ve witnessed a fair share of negotiation mishaps and mistakes. When conversations and deals fall apart, it’s usually not because of anything the other side said. More often, it’s because the lead negotiator unintentionally sabotaged themselves. Below, I’ve outlined the three most common ways that people take themselves hostage in negotiations—and how to overcome them.  

Who knew hostage negotiation actually uses the same principles that apply to all negotiations?! Hostage negotiation started in the 1970s, before Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow, before neuroscience, and before emotional intelligence. We thought we were dealing with an aspect of human behavior that was the exception to everyday life. What we didn’t know is that we were dealing with the essence of everyday life and had the rules for all negotiations. Here are those five rules for winning negotiations:

The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other party the illusion of control. But how do you flip the control dynamic on its head?

How much time do you have to make a first impression? Seven seconds.

“I’m here to sign-up for the stupid American of the day award.”  

What made me say that? I’m on the wrong side of customs in Australia and my bags are still inside. And I’m not interested in getting stranded and missing my connection, or wearing the same clothes for five days and brushing my teeth with the hotel provided toothbrush.

The ability to repair suffering relationships is a vital business skill. Cultivating emotional intelligence and control will give you a competitive edge in the negotiation and empower you to be effective under pressure.