What's the best way to handle being attacked in a negotiation? Call it reverse psychology. Call it a Jedi Mind Trick. Call it Emotional Intelligence on steroids. We call it Tactical Empathy. And it’s the stealth weapon of effective negotiation. It’s counter-intuitive. It takes guts. It takes grit. And it works.
In September 2016, I attended a meeting where I was the lone hostage negotiator in a room full of SWAT guys. The meeting is held quarterly for SWAT guys by SWAT guys. I was an interloper in hostile territory. The purpose for my attendance was to request a piece of their pie. The SWAT group had a training operations cache of about $78,000.00. Since they had spent none of the money on several...
One of my business school students recently sent me an email which said: “One thing you’ve emphasized in class is using a skill and then shutting up. I was actually kind of amazed at how well not talking works.”
The old saying – “the first step to solving a problem is being aware that the problem exists.” On that same token, the first step to finding fairness in a negotiation is understanding that the other side’s view of fairness doesn’t even remotely resemble yours, their view of what is fair will probably seem crazy and illogical to you.