Most people who think they are good listeners underperform. There is some research that suggests they do so by as much as 60%. This overconfidence impedes their success as it prevents them from truly understanding the motivation of the other side.
MOREPIES. It’s the acronym developed by the Crisis Negotiations Unit of the FBI in order to help negotiators remember the eight skills in the Active Listening Skill (ALS) set.
It’s how you get what you want.
In hostage negotiation we always had a saying “What’s it going to take to get the hostage taker to come out? He’ll tell you.” But you have to learn to do more than just listen passively or try to talk them into anything. You have to work with what you get out of them to make a deal.
My company now teach this tactical negotiation approach in business.