Hang a Label On It

A “like” is an expression of value appreciation or desire that the Black Swan Group refers to as a positive. A “dislike” is a lack of appreciation, aversion or reluctance, to or for something. It is what we refer to as a negative. The positive or negative emotion that the counterpart attaches to a term or a dynamic is a clue as to the valuation they have put on it. The recognition, articulation,...

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How to Use FBI Empathy

Do try this at home. FBI Empathy = Revenue Is revenue boring? FBI empathy is the same as what we refer to as “tactical empathy” in our book “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.” What is it? It’s knowingly and intentionally influencing your counterpart’s emotions to make deals. It’s how you give your family a better life.

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3 Negotiation Mistakes That Are Hurting Your Deals

People always want to increase their odds of success. It's simply human nature to want to do everything you can to avoid failure. Here are 3 common communication mistakes that are hurting your deals. 

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How to Negotiate A Higher Salary

What happens when you trigger “That’s right” several times in a salary negotiation? How about getting a salary offer 41% higher than you expected?

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Why It's Important To Embrace "No"

“I’m telling you now man, if y’all do anything foolish, these people are gonna get hurt,” Mike said after taking 12 people hostage during a botched robbery. Our being there meant that we wanted him to surrender peacefully. In other words, we wanted Mike to say, “Yes.” His utterance was an emphatic “No.”

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How To Get Buy-in Starting With “No”

        Think of this as “You had me at ‘no’” meets “think like Elon Musk.”  “Do you want the FBI to be embarrassed?” –effective pause – “What do you want me to do?” The above example is from our book “Never Split The Difference” where an FBI hostage negotiator – Marti Evelsizer – was negotiating with her (jealous) boss. He wanted to remove her from her position as head of the Pittsburgh FBI...

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3 Ways To Create Space For Yourself In A Negotiation

It is always nice to have breathing room in a negotiation. Not monetary breathing room, breathing room in the conversation. What we refer to as breathing room is this moment or space in time, during the interaction, where you can collect your thoughts and refocus your attention.

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The #1 Reverse Psychology Skill For When You're Attacked in a Negotiation

What's the best way to handle being attacked in a negotiation? Call it reverse psychology. Call it a Jedi Mind Trick. Call it Emotional Intelligence on steroids. We call it Tactical Empathy. And it’s the stealth weapon of effective negotiation. It’s counter-intuitive. It takes guts. It takes grit. And it works.

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How to Use a Cold Read and Accusation Audit to Achieve Success

In September 2016, I attended a meeting where I was the lone hostage negotiator in a room full of SWAT guys. The meeting is held quarterly for SWAT guys by SWAT guys. I was an interloper in hostile territory. The purpose for my attendance was to request a piece of their pie. The SWAT group had a training operations cache of about $78,000.00. Since they had spent none of the money on several...

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How To Use Silence To Your Advantage

 One of my business school students recently sent me an email which said: “One thing you’ve emphasized in class is using a skill and then shutting up. I was actually kind of amazed at how well not talking works.”

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