Blog: The Negotiation Edge

The Sexiest Thing About Listening

It’s how you get what you want.

In hostage negotiation we always had a saying “What’s it going to take to get the hostage taker to come out? He’ll tell you.”  But you have to learn to do more than just listen passively or try to talk them into anything.   You have to work with what you get out of them to make a deal.

My company now teach this tactical negotiation approach in business.

Here’s how an employee used listening to get a salary offer 41% higher than expected:

Negotiating with Empathy: Not a State of Mind, It is an Action

Empathy is commonly defined as being very close to sympathy in many cases.  Merriam-Webster defines empathy as the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions.  Empathy as it applies to negotiation is neither one, and going into a situation where you are trying to influence the other side using empathy with this characterization will only hinder progress.  The linguistics professionals can describe empathy however they see fit.  But they are not negotiators, they’re simply people filling books with words and have no feel for application.

How to Crush Your Salary Negotiation

“How can I be guaranteed to be involved in projects critical to the company’s future?”

Ask this in every job and salary negotiation. Every time. Particularly as the first verbal response to the dreaded “How much did you make at your last position?” and “What are your salary requirements?”

“I’ll be happy to answer that, but first….. how can I be guaranteed to be involved in projects critical to the company’s future?”

Getting You From Rapport To Influence

We have written about the importance of active listening to demonstrate empathy in order to establish a bond or rapport with the other side of a difficult conversation. But, not much has been said about techniques that can help us move from rapport to influencing behavioral change. Whether business or crisis negotiations (to some there is no distinction), behavioral change is our ultimate goal.