“Do the homework, and the test is easy.” Dr. Jeff Spencer You need about 63-65 repetitions of use of a skill to build the neural pathway, so its use is comfortable, to put you on the path to mastery. But how? Where can you get your low stakes practice for your high stakes performance?
Emotion labeling was developed as a part of the Active Listening Skillset in the area of psychotherapy in the 1950’s. It is defined as the tentative attachment of an observation to the emotions implied by a person’s words, actions, or demeanor. Adopted for use in law enforcement in the mid-1980s, it is one of the most powerful tools in a hostage negotiators toolbox.
When responding to any counter-proposal, you need to make sure you don’t let yourself get sucked into the sequential move game. In a sequential move game with “evenly” matched players, as a second mover, you can only tie or lose. Are you interested in a more complicated game of tick tack toe?
Most people who think they are good listeners underperform. There is some research that suggests they do so by as much as 60%. This overconfidence impedes their success as it prevents them from truly understanding the motivation of the other side.Nothing puts a relationship in jeopardy faster than poor listening. Husband, wife, son, daughter, boss or subordinate, people do not take long to...
This is also the #1 way to deal with everyone who wants to suck up your time on the phone, from colleagues to cold-calling sales-people with “Have you got a few minutes to talk?”
When you go into a negotiation that has a high probability of being combative, these are the strategies for overcoming those points of contention. In fact, most of the approach stems from ignoring your natural inclinations to right the wrongs, explain the why, and promise to make sure the other side won’t have to experience the irritation ever again.
When someone asks you “How much?”, what’s the worst thing you can do? Answer with a price. The traditional wisdom is “He (or she) who names a price first loses.” The academics will advise you the opposite! They say seize the initiative and set the price range with an anchor!
Google “Leadership Emotional Intelligence” and marvel at the number of hits on books, articles, and blog posts that have been produced. Not a week goes by without a new offering espousing the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and interpersonal communication for business leaders.
The secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. If knowledge is power, what you really want to gain is knowledge in the interaction without really giving much information away. Here’s how to flip the control dynamic on it’s head and enjoy the process.
Before you go into any negotiation you probably address some form of the below: Time spent planning Purpose of interaction How do we move the negotiations forward? Now ask yourself, how much of that is self-centered?