Can you apply this to your negotiations? Absolutely. Here’s how. And it’s a version of what we did to every kidnapper on the planet: terrorists, criminals, crazies, and sociopaths.
- Sprinkle Magic Dust On Them – Trigger “That’s Right”
- Become Skynet – Change The Future to Change The Present
- Become A Jedi – The Calibrated “No”
This article will delve into each of these sections and also include links to some of our articles to goes into each with more depth if you’d like. Study up and rock it for your best chance of success!
If you knew what the people on the opposite side of the table thought you’d surely get everything you wanted. Unfortunately, you don’t have a crystal ball or a time machine and haven’t fully developed your psychic abilities just yet. Hence the reason for a communication process and varying amounts of preparation based on circumstance and of course time.
The Incident Commander (IC) is brand new. He has spent the last three years as a sergeant in the Property and Evidence section. He was promoted to sergeant four years prior and spent one year running a squad before being transferred to Property and Evidence. Two months ago he competed for and was ultimately promoted to lieutenant.
Having an individual or a team of people ask you questions is an easily foreseeable part of negotiation. Knowing that negotiation is an information gathering endeavor, you need to be prepared to make sure you take every opportunity to make yourself smarter. Sometimes these moments are when questions are asked of you. They are trying to piece together the puzzle for themselves which is why they would ask the question in the first place. In these moments they are focused on something about you that directly relates to value-driven directives for them. No person will ever be able to articulate their entire thought pattern that caused them to arrive at a particular inquiry. Which means chances are what they asked you has holes in it. Where have you left yourself and your counterpart by answering?
Even I had forgotten how effective this is.
The “late-night FM DJ” voice combined with “How am I supposed to accept that?”
I was just getting in some practice and was shocked when I got my way. I knew I had violated their “rules” and was technically asking for a refund after the deadline had expired.
Falling silent, also known as the effective pause, is a powerful tool to use during interpersonal communication. It is a skill in which you intentionally create a void in the dialogue, before or after saying something meaningful, to entice the other side to continue talking and perhaps expound on a point they were trying to make. It is arguably the most underutilized listening skill. Sometimes, even though it is in our best interest, we find it difficult just to shut up.
We all know at this point, as quoted in Never Split the Difference, the key to negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control. Turning your counterpart into the solver of problems is essential to making this happen for 2 reasons. First, we know that human nature tells us people feel in control when they are doing the talking. Second, buy-in is paramount to great execution. As a negotiator, your task is to with presenting moments for the other side to do some contemplating. Facilitate an interaction where they are considering things they feel the need to collaborate with you on directly, have to check with their team on, or both.
Marcus Lemonis would have been a great hostage negotiator.
“I understand you guys have rights and remedies under the agreement to pursue whatever it is and I respect that. We will accept whatever the consequences are.”