Two weeks ago, I attended the SaaStr 2017 conference in San Francisco. It was a collection of Software- As-A-Service start-up CEOs, CFOs, COOs as well as marketing and sales geniuses. They meet once a year to network, listen to speakers and view/sell the latest products. These attendees, by my limited observations were all 30 to early 40-somethings; all wicked smart and extremely successful. I was clearly one of the dumbest guys in the room.
Individual “signals” can be faked. “Signals” are choices of words, changes in tone of voice, body language changes (“flinches”) or things often referred to as “tells” .
So, you’re really looking to triangulate signals.
There comes a time in almost every negotiation where we may get a counterpart that is trying to influence our decisions by making an ultimatum type offer (take X or this bad thing is going to happen to you). Sometimes it may be something they say out of desperation, other times they were going to hit you with it one way or another. At the end of the day, everyone we meet in a negotiation has a plan of attack. Even if you're only information going into an interaction is a cold read, you can start to draw lines between what they may want and why. Usually the reasons for coming to the table that are more than what appears on the surface. If you go into an interaction thinking the other side has only one reason for being there than you are sorely mistaken. There are always things going on in the other side's position, the way they operate as a team or company that has brought them to the table. If we take a real honest look at the reasons they would take a certain position, we can start to form a statement summary that defines their approach, consequently removing all the reasoning for cementing themselves over a certain point.
Here's the top 2 reasons not to go first in a negotiation. And they both leave money on the table.
Differences in the personality types of hostage-takers (HTs) you may encounter should also be considered when planning the appropriate intervention technique. Different people have different sensitivities, needs, and goals. Your ability to influence the HT’s behavior and ultimately the incident’s outcome is significantly dependent upon the ability to address the personality type.
I remember hearing a few years ago a businessman saying he started moving his business forward much more successfully when he started treating every “maybe” as if it were a “no”.
This rule will make this an even better holiday season for you and everyone your words touch.
Is “Yes” really always “yes”?
“No” is protection. “Yes” is commitment. “No” instantly makes people feel safe while “Yes” makes them worry about what they’ve committed themselves to. Nearly every “Yes” at best is a conditional “yes” and often is a counterfeit “yes”.
Which elements need to be assessed as the event unfolds? It starts with determining which type of event we are asked to manage. The degree to which the person on the other side has prepared for the event speaks volumes about his intent and determination and gives a pretty good indication of the challenges we will face as we move toward resolution.